Impending Departure

Tomorrow I will fly to San Francisco. Monday I fly to Lima, Peru. My trip is very unplanned and up in the air. Actually my entire life feels pretty unplanned and up in the air right now. 6 months ago I was in a long-term relationship. I lived in a cute apartment with my cute girlfriend and our equally cute cat. I was working anywhere from 2 to 3 jobs depending on the week and how you looked at it. Now I have no cute apartment, no cute girlfriend, an estranged cute cat who isn't truly my cute cat anymore, and no job, really. When most of these changes took place something in my gut said "Go to South America." So I'm doing the only logical thing a girl can do. I'm going to South America.


South America is a very large place and when you buy a plane ticket with arrival and departure dates that span five months the possibilities are close to endless. My ideas for the shape of this trip have morphed and changed a number of times in the two months since I started to think about it and even in the weeks since I booked my flight. In fact my ideas changed a few minutes ago. I would tell you all of these different plans and why they keep changing but that would be a waste of time because (1) they have never been very concrete or set and (2) they will probably change again in the near future. What city I fly "home" from is even probably going to change (currently my ticket is from Guatemala City which, for those of you keeping track, is NOT in South America but, rather, is in Central America).


I don't intend for this to be a soul searching trip where I find myself. I'm not sure if I believe that travel can fulfill that sort of function for me. Living out of a suitcase for 5 months certainly isn't going to make my life any less up in the air and tetherless than it does now. I am, however, looking forward to the effects of traveling. Travel has typically renewed my faith in humanity and even given me a sense of pride in being an American that I often lack in my daily life. Saturday evening I sat in front of my computer reading an article about the shooting of Rep. Gabby Giffords and 19 others in Arizona. Tears flowed down my cheeks. The absolute tragedy and senselessness of the situation was mind-numbing. The idea that the disagreements and opposing political viewpoints in my nation could lead to such indiscriminate violence was disappointing, saddening, and horrifying. I clicked away from the article and scrolled down the homepage of the New York Times website. The next article to catch my eye was headlined "Israelis kill Palestinian, 65, in his bed." A skimming of the first paragraph informed me that Israeli soldiers had been looking for a Palestinian whom the PLO had released earlier. They "mistakenly" shot the young man's uncle and, later in the day, arrested the young man. I closed my computer. We hear stories like this everyday, stories of violence, stories of humans turning on humans, stories of our government's ineptness and infighting, stories of victims being further victimized and perpetrators getting away scot free. It makes me feel as though the world is falling in on itself. It is turning me into a cynic before my time, degrading my faith in people and the world outside of the loved ones and friends I already trust and care for.

My previous travels have always shifted that perspective. When you travel you are far more vulnerable than you are in your daily life. You don't know the basics that are second nature at home. There are the obvious differences, such as language, and the more discreet ones. How do you hail a cab in this country? Where is the bus stop? Do I leave the tip on the table? Why is the waiter ignoring me? How much should this cost? In so many ways you are suddenly like a small child or an infant relearning the little things. And the most amazing thing about traveling is that people come out of the woodwork and help you. They show you which bus you need. They go out of their way to make sure that you find the tourist office. They buy you lunch or a drink or pay for your cab ride. In travel you can rediscover the beautiful nature of humanity. In the same way that many people are focusing on the story of Gabby Giffords' intern, who ran towards the bullets rather than away, who pushed his bare hand onto her bullet wound and stayed with her all the way to the hospital, as a counter-balance to the horror of the shooting I am looking forward to having my faith in humanity restored by the kindness of the people I meet while traveling.


I am not the most dedicated of bloggers. I am not bringing a computer with me. But I will try and be diligent about updating this page to let you know what shape my trip takes, how I am doing, and to tell you some of the stories from along the road.